We started this foggy, scary, emotional, joyous, hopeful journey almost two and half years ago. A seed that had been planted in us both in our youth, dreamed about as our relationship grew and then strategized as we navigated life as two 30-somethings raising our daughter in NYC, alongside our two furry kids.
I knew this would a hard journey. I knew the stories of others, confusing and heart wrenching turns. I understood that while adoption is wonderful, it’s also born out of deep, deep sadness – an alternate world that has complexities beyond belief, complexities that will spin new webs over a lifetime. And this journey certainly hasn’t disappointed.
I didn’t realize how hard it would be to raise a child with a dark cloud of uncertainty looming over our heads. The uneasiness of having to constantly allow strangers in our lives and home to ask questions, provide advice and follow procedures as we navigated the tiring and crazy schedule that two young kids afford – all while questioning our own parenting skills, as most parents naturally do.
But here we are, watching the grey cloud of uncertainty, nervousness, stomach twisting pain roll away.
On January 24, 2020, one month shy of Cal turning one, a New York City judge granted us full custody in front of dear friends that have been solid rocks to us in the process. As she acknowledged our long journey, including the marathon of physical, emotional and financial qualification we had to undergo – I could feel the weight of it all start to lift. When she said, “I see no reason why you should not be Calvin’s parents”… I started to cry. Immediately prompting confusion from Elle, as the weight of happy tears and stress lifted aren’t quite in the realm of a 4 year old’s mind just yet.
While our journey will always be evolving, we can move forward with a deep sense of peace. Jan 24 will always serve as a day of celebration in our home – and thanks to friends, we enjoyed pupusas (an El Salvador staple) just for the occasion.
Cal was quite thrilled with that choice – as his days revolve around food lately.
Thanks for following our adoption journey, praying for us, supporting us and just listening to us along the way. It’s meant so much.
Our Adoption Day đź’› Jan 24, 2020
our big little adventures 